You Might Be a Walmart Junkie

Before this brutal budget (BBB), I went to Walmart one time each week to buy a ton of stuff and one time each week to return at least one piece of stuff I had just bought.  The facts don't lie: 53 debit card purchases in 2013 and 48 returns.  I was a Platinum Walmart Shopper.

I knew the Greeter by his first name; I had a favorite checkout lane; I considered the girl at the return counter my friend.  I was a Walmart Junkie.

Because I suck at saving receipts, I was also never without at least one "merchandise credit" card.  This made me feel good.  It was reassuring.  I was carrying "as good as cash" at all times.  Printer ink emergency?  Got it.  Need a new garden hose? I got your back.  Out of ziplock bags?  Hope in the car because this ain't gonna cost us a dime.  Walmart Junkie.

Here's my theory.  You walk into Walmart for laundry detergent.  You grab a big shopping cart.  As you speed down the main aisle, swerving to avoid The People of Walmart Candidates, you notice everyone else has a cart, but their carts are filled with frozen pizzas and window washer fluid.  Your cart looks empty and you start to feel silly.  

So you start loading your cart with candles, dish towels, and a new blender.  Ah.  Better.  You, too, deserve this cart.  

By the time you reach the cleaning supplies, there is no room left in the main part of your cart so you have to store the laundry detergent underneath the carriage.  Walmart Junkie.

You wonder how the cart got so full. You have plenty of time to think about it as you wait in a line five people deep at checkout.  You convince yourself that you needed all this stuff anyway.  You are saving yourself a trip later.  Walmart Junkie.

You tell the checkout lady how funny it is that you just came in for laundry detergent.  She smiles at you as yshe looks at the full cart.  She resembles that trademarked yellow smiley face logo that is always Rolling Back the Prices on the Things You Need Most.  

My two cents: If the above feels even vaguely familiar, you might be a Walmart Junkie.  The recovery program is actually simple.  Avoid going to to Walmart unless crisis, stick to the list, and DO NOT USE A CART.